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A Hunger for God’s Word

If it possible for Paul, “the foremost of all sinners” (I Timothy 1:15), to surrender to the resurrected Christ, God certainly can handle a stubborn atheist and staunch nationalist. As Paul knew the depth of God’s grace, I experienced the overwhelming love of Christ.

Born in the middle of the Cultural Revolution in China in 1970, I grew up in a semi-religious atheistic environment. As I got older, through my love of Chinese history, extreme nationalism grew in me. So I studied hard and enrolled to one of the top tier colleges in China, majoring in chemical engineering. Getting into college also lifted me up from the down-trodden peasant class to the urban class in the Chinese society—a huge achievement for a son from a peasant family!

But I began to wonder the meaning of my life in college. Where did I come from? Where am I going? Why am I here? What am I supposed to do? I realized that I couldn’t fully control my future. I might have wishes, but I couldn’t guarantee my destination.

I told myself there must be something higher. My atheism began to crumble. But what was there? I didn’t know. But I was sure that if there was something, it couldn’t be the Christian God because He was the accomplice of the Western imperialists to humiliate China!

When my search for meaning of life became even more serious after the crackdown of the student movement in 1989, I met a college student who told me she was considering becoming a Christian and even gave me a Bible. But I noticed she still maintained her sanity and even became happier as months went by. I wanted to give what worked for her life a try because I was empty and eager to know what else was in my life and what else spiritually was there in the world.

One day after listening to a missionary finish a full presentation of the gospel, the love of Jesus became so real and powerful that atheism and nationalism couldn’t hold me anymore. Rationally unexplainable, I began to say, I want to accept you, Jesus, because you have died for me. No one else has ever done that for me. You did it for me even when I was most ignorant of you, denying you and even hating you. The love of Jesus enveloped me like an ocean. My stony heart began to melt in the fiery love of Jesus. The tears of joy ran down like a flood. I found it. In fact, later I know that it was Christ who laid hold of me (Philippians 3:12). A perfect example of Romans 5:8.

Like the newborn hungry for milk, I was eager to know what the Bible told about God. But there were not enough Bibles for everyone, let alone any teaching or training in the Bible. So our group spent our time in reading the Bible together. The scarcity of the Bible and Christian literature was in fact not local as I began to know more and more house churches. Our faith needs God’s Word to be sound and strong.

After I came to Christ, a missionary gave me a very special Bible, one with cross-references that help connect Bible verses in different places, a great study aid. This Bible immediately became a treasure and i wrote my name on its first page, taking the risk of being discovered by the authorities.

One day, a pastor came to visit me. While enjoying fellowship, I forgot to hide my treasure. His eyes noticed it and were tightly glued on it. What could I say when he asked me if he could not have a look at it? It turned out that he was just not looking; he was turning the pages, with no sign of putting my treasure down.

I began to struggle. Should I keep it or give it to him? On the one hand, there was no guarantee that I could get another Bible like this. On the other hand, I knew how much he needed it for his ministry. He pastored many house churches, and taught church leaders. The answer is obvious.

I am glad that in the end I gave it to him. That Bible made a huge difference. He is now leader of a church network of about 5,000 house groups. Like the five loaves and two fish, when offered to Christ for His use, they multiply beyond our human imagination.

With only one authorized Bible-printing company in the whole nation, the Chinese communist government controlled production and distribution of the Bible and made access to the Bible difficult in order to starve God’s people from His Word.

One house church leader needed Bibles for his evangelistic campaign so desperately that he went to the government church. Through some connections, he knew the keeper of the government church bookstore. Pastor Bi wanted to purchase all they had which was a few hundred. The keeper got very anxious, and was unwilling to give all to him because he had to wait at least half a year to receive some fresh supply from the government printer, only at a very limited quantity. The pastor eventually got all of the Bibles even though he felt sorry for the keeper. Those Bibles were just a drop in the bucket for his network.

A few years later, I was privileged to lead a translation and editing study of a Bible, called Fire Bible. In the process of coordinating the delivery of several million copies of this study Bible to pastors across China, I was blessed to meet many great servants of God and listen to God’s work in their ministry.

A sister in China told me how she got her Fire Bible when I met her in northwest China. She was studying at an underground Bible school in east China in 1999. One day, her teacher obtained two copies of the Fire Bible, Holy Grails to the whole class. That was all he could find.

To be fair, the teacher decided to have a Scripture memorization contest and award them to the top two students. The Chinese sister worked hard because she knew how helpful that Bible was to her understanding of God’s Word. In the end, she became one of the two recipients. And it was the only Bible reference tool that she had when she went to evangelize in northwest China. But she was grateful enough for it.

The Fire Bible also became a great tool to equip pastors in their preaching and teaching ministry. A Chinese brother in Gansu province wanted to help his village but didn’t know how.

There were some believers in his village but the church was in an appalling situation. Not only was there a shortage of Bibles, but nobody received any training to preach and explain the Scriptures. Many believers loved God and wanted to know his Word.

This Chinese brother received a Fire Bible from a pastor and was overjoyed when he read the notes on almost every page. There were even articles and a concordance. He decided to gather believers together and read the notes and articles to each of them on Sunday. Gradually his understanding of the Bible increased. He was able to put notes together and form his own sermon. He became a self-taught pastor through the Fire Bible. As a result, his church began to grow in number and strength.

Pray for God’s people in China to be more alert to God’s work and take more creative and strategic actions. Pray that Bible distribution ministry will become one vessel in God’s hand to empower the Chinese missionary movement to effectively reach the unreached worldwide with the love of Jesus Christ.